Nick

Kara

1.27.2009

baby talk

**Pardon the baby themed post on my running blog. If you prefer, skip down to the last paragraph about running!


To Doula or not to doula...

That is my current dilemna - so I ask for your help on that - again!

Here is my goal: QUICK RECOVERY so I can get up and run to be ready for Boston asap! To meet that goal, I have mostly read there is less intense damage with a natural birth and that would be the best thing, but I am not set on it not knowing what to expect. I would like to go without drugs (and don't feel great about losing feeling in my lower body and not being able to walk around) but I am not going to go in there close minded. The many of you who have had epis said it really wasn't bad. My other huge fear is needing a C-section and not knowing what is going on. I've read up on everything, watched videos, and feel that I am educated on all of the drugs/terms, but what will I be like when I'm in pain? Normally I am the type of person that turns inward and doesn't want anyone near me or anyone to touch me whatsoever. It sounds like they give you a nurse that is only working with you - will this be enough? Doulas are big in nursing and I don't want to be pressured in anyway - that whole thing freaks me out completely. Do I want someone ELSE there in my face about that? And after the baby is born, will I just want peace without another person around? The cost is $850 which is a deciding factor. If it were free or say, half that cost, I would just do it. Let me know your thoughts...again. I need to decide and my personal deadline is tonight - as I was up at 5am this morning with a piercing headache thinking about it!



Most of you have voted for a date, sex and size here. I have been updating them as people vote so I will keep doing that! It keeps it fun! We don't know the sex - it is a surprise!

Running - still running along! I got in a long run on Sat on the TM of 11.2 miles. It wasn't as good as last week, but it was still a long run! Sunday Bill and I went running outside and it was FREEZING at a half mile loop near our house. Running with Bill is a great thing!! and this was the second time we did the loop park, so we'll have to keep that up! I give him alot of credit as it was definitely freezing outside with wind.

Yesterday I ran on the TM and then went to yoga - I hadn't been in 3 weeks! I really needed the stretching - I am such a slacker about it! I'm enjoying reading everyones training updates for spring races and marathons!

Today I am at a workshop and just came back from a lunchtime (11am!) jog! It is chilly out but was a nice fresh air jog to try to clear my headache!!

Thanks for your help!

29 comments:

  1. I can't answer the question for you but I'm like you in the fact that I DON'T WANT anyone near me when I'm in pain. I find people annoying and just want to be left alone. I will say that the nurses I've had (with both kids) were VERY nice and kept me as comfy as they could and that was enough for me. I personally wouldn't go with a doula but I'm sure there are others that swear by them.

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  2. I love how I am the only one who thinks you will have the baby in March! Lets hope I am wrong!!

    that so awesome you ran with Bill! You are doing great! Only a few more weeks!

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  3. Sounds like you are definitely becoming a very well educated consumer, and I'm sure you will make a good decision. My wife definitely preferred working with a midwife the second time around (which I assume is similar to a Doula) even though, like you, she does not want any attention in "uncomfortable" situations. As far as afterwards, I think you are well within your right to tell them to leave you alone if too much attention is being paid to you and you just want to rest with you new baby.

    I still can't get over that you are running with less than a month to go before the birth! Amazing.

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  4. I personally say go with the doula. I've never been pregnant and the child birth scares the living daylights out of me, I'd go with the extra help... just in case! Oh, I forgot to tell you my BFF AND Duane's cousin gave birth to a boy on the same day. On Jan 14th!! Isn't that crazy??? You're next and then my sister in April. I have babies in the brain!!

    Omg, great job on the 11 miler!!!

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  5. i dont know what to say about the whole birth thing... i know when its my turn i say bring on the drugs :)

    i have MORE friends that are prego now!! they are everywhere.

    great job on the 11 miles on the treadmill! i dont know how you do that!

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  6. I think while you feel a little stressed and confused on the issue, your mind is in the right place. You know what is best for your body and I know in the heat of the moment you'll make good decisions. You're a very strong woman (physically and mentally) so I know you'll get through this no problem. :)

    Personally, I'd go with the doula. It wouldn't hurt to have another person advocating for you and the decisions you've made in advance (natural).

    I am so impressed that you are still running double digits this late in your pregnancy! You rock.

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  7. Yeah, I don't think I could run 11 miles on a treadmill even while not pregnant! Now that I think about it, I think my longest run on a treadmill is 7 miles.

    Do you know anyone who has given birth at the hospital where you're going? Might be good to talk with them about their experience. Most nurses are awesome and will abide by your wishes as long as everything is healthy. Keep this in mind- if you don't get a good vibe from a particular nurse, YOU CAN KICK HER OUT (and you should) and they'll give you another nurse. Usually nurses are on for 12 hours at a time so you'll go through several shifts during your whole stay.

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  8. I've had about 10 friends have babies in the past three years. Only one of them had a doula (in addition to homeopathy and a chiropractor - not in the room though!) and she loved the experience, but it is very much in keeping with her personality. Only two friends went without drugs and that was b/c by the time a doctor saw them they were past the cut off point to safely administer an epidural and were ready to give birth. Happy to report that all of them had safe deliveries with no c-sections and none of them ran during their pregnancies - so I think you're looking great! Should note that my friends cover two different countries and thus two different healthcare systems.

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  9. well, as much as you want a natural birth, the fact that you're open to changing your mind once you see what's going on i think means a doula isn't worth it. if you do decide you want an epi (i did) do you really want someone trying to talk you out of it? i would have, at that point, killed someone if they'd suggested that no, i did not want it. and 11 on the treadmill? i'm glad i had my kid before you because i think i'd just feel like a total slacker. (won't mention that 6 weeks pp i haven't gone longer than 3 still...)

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  10. Can you meet with the doula and then make your decision. It may be nice to see if you feel comfortable with the person first.

    My prediction:

    Feb 23 - boy - 6lb 9oz

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  11. AFter two I'd say that you can do without; especially if you're this late in the game. The birth of both my boys was such an intense experience all the way around and brought my husband and I to a whole new level of trust, support and understanding. He was my coach. I thought I wouldn't be able to deal with him trying to help, much like you I dont' like people around either. But when "game time" came around, he turned into this man that I had never seen before. It was amazing and wonderful.

    From your posts, you seem like a strong woman; do what you're comfortable with.

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  12. If you want a natural birth, go for it. A doula might be able to encourage you to stick to that plan and could also reassure you that what's happening is normal (others have lived to tell about it). I managed a natural, drug-free delivery without a doula but was a little stressed before the birth because my doctor was pushy about pain medication. Would've been nice to have one more person on my side as I headed to delivery. I've also read doulas are great for the husbands - sometimes they need more calming that the mama. Good luck deciding.

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  13. I can't believe you did that on a treadmill and pregnant! Wow..that's impressive. On the doula..I never had one but I have heard some people say they loved it. I think in the moment, I would have liked to hear from someone with some skills but is still comforting. Sometimes Daddy is comforting and sometimes he just gets in the way and is a pain in the butt. I say go for it. If I were going for number 3 - I know I would.

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  14. Do whatever you feel is right for you.

    Since you asked...I would say no to the doula and remain open to taking an epi if you feel you need it at the time.

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  15. $850 is a lot of money - is there any way to meet with the doula so that you feel really comfortable with the way she will handle things?

    I am the kind of person who wants to be left alone when I get hurt, etc. but at the end of my last labor (have 2 boys) I LOVED having a supportive nurse come push on my back and breath with me through each contraction. I went natural and was at a 10 waiting for the doctor to get there!!! I just share that because even though I normally want to me alone (and did most of the labor alone) I really did like having the support of someone who knew what they were doing. My husband was great but really just didn't know what to do.

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  16. It sounds like you are comfortable with the idea of an epidural, so I don't know that I'd spend the money on a doula.

    I am similar to you in that I want to be left alone when in pain, but I did lean heavily on my DH and the nurses for my first labor. I ended up going with the epidural even though I preferred a non-medicated birth, but I was dealing with back labor and pitocin. With my second, I labored pretty much by myself the whole time and didn't feel the need to have anyone help me.

    One thing we did was come up with a key statement for DH to say to me to remind me I wanted to go natural. I had an acquaintance who said I'd never manage it and that pissed me off. So, DH said to me "J said you can't do it". My response: F%$# J, get me the d(*&ed epidural. That's how he knew I'd reached the end of my coping ability.

    Good luck with your decision!

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  17. Okay, so I just have to ask -- are you not concerned about slipping and falling while you run with baby in tow?? I'm sure it's a stupid question, but I've met several women here recently who continue to run long distances while pregnant. Don't get me wrong -- I think it's AWESOME that you are soo active and hope that when I'm preggers I can retain my workouts. Just curious and trying to sort through what to expect someday :-)

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  18. Hmm, I haven't entered a guess.

    Let's go with a 7 pound, 2 oz boy on February 20th.

    Cheers!

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  19. I had to skip past the baby part b/c I'm of no help there!!

    As for the running...you are crazy! You'll probably run yourself to the hospital when you go into labor! I can't believe you are still doing long runs!

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  20. I am not much help in the area of a doula. In fact, never really heard of...

    I am, however, jealous of your lunchtime run! I wish I had enough time to workout during lunch... oh well.

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  21. I'm no help with the doula advice, but $850 is a lot of money.

    Great work on getting Bill to run with you. I'd love to have the husband come with me from time to time.

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  22. I would say if you have your heart SET on delivering naturally without drugs, then go for the doula because I've heard they are really good at helping during labor - BUT - you've got to make sure she understands that you are open to changing your mind about drugs and not give you a hard time about it, you know? I would hate for it to be a waste of money if you end up having to kick her out...haha
    I personally found the nurses at the hospital to be SO AWESOME. They all were very experienced and supportive when I didn't want drugs and supportive when I did.

    If it helps - I had a doula's services offered for free...and I turned it down and never regretted it. I had all the help I needed just with the nurses.

    Just my two cents :)

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  23. I have an idea! Make Bill be your doola! Save the 800 bucks and make him take care of you! :) HAHA As for any serious decision, your askin the wrong non prego, neva been prego girl. Sorry i'm no help but i bet your hubby would be just as great as anyone else :)

    Oh and running always makes my headaches go away.

    I'm tellin ya, you should sign up for Chicago and come MEEt me!! :) I promise it would be FUN

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  24. I think that you are such a strong person that you can definitely go without the doulah. However they are excellent at assessing your needs..whether to be in your face or a silent supporter. As long as your husband/other family member is there to support you you'll be fine!!! You seem like you know so much!
    Two of my best friends are L & D nurses. Depending on where you go your nurse will have you and maybe one other person.. but when your getting ready to deliver, she/he should have just you. The recovery is a bit longer with a section, just by virtue of the risk of infection at the surgical site, and having to heal all that extra tissue, plus you have to stay longer at the hospital.
    Excellent pain management helps recovery time. This is fact!! So after you deliver don't be too heroic! Keep your pain in check so you can get right up walking around when you feel up to it! Walking as soon as you can is key!
    Sorry if this was a bit much! You're going to do awesome and your anxieties are all normal, warranted and part of this exciting process!!

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  25. and oh... feb 20th BOY 6lbs 9oz

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  26. I was at a great hospital with great nurses so I didn't really feel like I needed anyone else. Plus my husband read A LOT and he was incredible and I think another person would have taken away from his involvement. That being said I was the situation you fear most - 20 hours of labor (18 hours without the epi) only to get stuck at 9 centimeters forever and then still need a c-section. After everything I went through I can honestly say the memories of it aren't that bad. Zach was totally worth it.

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  27. You are totally my inspiration for running 11 miles at this point (on a treadmill, no less). Dang!

    It sounds like to me that you've got things figured out in your mind, and would be able to voice your concerns to the doctors/nurses, so I don't think you need a doula. What does your OB/Gyn say? Is he/she okay with what you want, or is there pressure to do something else?

    I think everything is going to go fine for you. Focus on a positive outcome, instead of worrying about the possible scenarios (this coming from a chronic worry-wart, ha ha). Then all that positive energy has to do something good, right?

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  28. First off nobody is going to skip over the baby part. That is part of the runner that is you at this time. I am a little late to take part in the vote. i hope you made the right choice that will work for you.

    Way to keep running! I have always read the more active you are the better the pregnancy, delivery and the recovery.

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  29. Just wanted to respond to your questions about Achilles stretches...other than the typical stretch with one leg bent forward and the other behind...here's one as well...similar concept. This is all I've got though

    -Stand facing a wall at about arm's length away.
    -Stand with both feet facing straight ahead - parallel - not turned out, even a small amount.
    -Put one foot on the wall at knee height. Press that heel against the wall.
    -Look down and see if the foot you are standing on is facing directly ahead. Make that standing foot straight, not turned out; not even a little.
    -Do not lean toward the wall. Lift your chest until you are standing straight.
    -Don't let your hip curl under or your standing knee or hip bend.
    -Hold a few seconds and switch legs.

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