My First Triathlon - Sprint
Swim 450m 8:01
Bike 10 miles 44:46
Run 3.1 miles 24:36
Total time: 1:24:01
3/7 age 30-34
Last Thursday my great Aunt Mary passed away. She was my mom's aunt (my mommom's sister) and my mom was very close to her, being one of her main caregivers. She never married and did not have any children. She was 95 years old. Her funeral was yesterday. She lived a good life, and had many nieces & nephews who loved her and a constant flow of visitors at her house through the years. She was a smoker for the last 75 years and never had any complications until the last 5 years or so. Eventually her lungs were not strong enough to fight pneumonia but I cannot believe after all that smoking that she was in good health for such a long time.
I have alot of regret and the last week has been difficult. I went to visit Aunt Mary when she was in the hospital nearby and she was completely with it. She asked me how the kids were doing and Bill and who was watching them - then she remembered it was a Sunday. What killed me is that she said she never got to see Kara. I never brought her to visit. I did bring Nick down before he was mobile but I got nervous of bringing Nick to her house and getting into everything and worried about the smoke and I just made up excuses and didn't bring them down after Nick was about 5 months old. I feel horrible about this. When she was in the hospital last weekend I did not know it was the end of the road. It was naptime on a Sunday and I still had to grocery shop, so I was watching the clock. I think I stayed 45 minutes but I should have stayed much longer.
Besides talking about eating meat - she was always intrigued that I stopped eating meat and proud to tell me when she wasn't eating too much of it. We talked about this at the hospital too. The funniest thing that she said was that one of my Uncles looked huge on a magazine cover. She was always totally honest and never sugar coated anything. Whenever you went to her house, she always had homemade biscotti and tea, and she was always dressed like she was going to work: stockings, skirt to her knees, and button down cardigan. I guess this was a thing of the past, when I am her age, I will be wearing sweats. I'm pretty sure of it!
Throughout college and after college, I visited Aunt Mary a handful of times. We had long conversations on the phone and she ALWAYS said 'love you' at the end. One time after college I remember her telling me she was getting lazy making coffee because it was downstairs and it was a big coffee machine so I sent her a 4 cup one to put upstairs. I don't know if she ever used it but I think it made her day. For our wedding she gave me a piece of china that was passed down through the family. It's a serving dish that I cherish.
So the past few days I have been full of regrets. Why didn't I visit in the past 9 months? Why didn't I call as often as in the past? I know that I am busy and I think in the last few years she just became more bitter but this is no excuse. I regret that I did not visit or stay in as close of touch as in the past. And to top it off, my mom, who I sometimes have issues with her bossiness, asked me to bring the kids down at least 10 times. I feel awful. I suppose this is common when someone dies and I will learn a lesson to cherish the time with my grandparents and older people, but it has just been really hard. That was all I could think about yesterday at the services.
|Aunt Mary holding Nick, 1 month old, March '09|
|one of my favorite pictures from our wedding |
Aunt Mary shaking Bill's hand at the receiving line.