to have a second child? Is it just like having your first baby? you are never really ready but your clock is ticking, or you want to start a family but there are lots of unknowns. I've been reading alot of blogs of yours who are unsure whether to start trying - questioning waiting till this season is over, etc. I'm glad the decision was made for me without having to plan it out because I probably would have gone nuts.
I know I was a resentful pregnant person with Nick (why do I have to be pregnant? why do I have to give up my body?) and didn't want anyone doing me any favors, I wasn't going to be taking elevators or sitting on the couch because I was pregnant - I wanted to be treated like everyone else. This time around, I am somewhat the same, I wouldn't say resentful because I think it is pretty amazing what our bodies can do, but I am in denial. I am not ready to gain weight and try to get back to where I want to be again - my body, running. I don't want to talk about the pregnancy - I haven't fully accepted it yet. I will look at baby name books, but I don't really want to think about it, and I'm not really keeping track of how many weeks have passed and how many to go. I'm in a state of denial. And I know in a few years it will be a cool thing to have 2 kids close in age.
I haven't left Nick for the night yet, which is probably sad, but the first 11 months were nursing related and now I just don't have a reason to. I know that I will be anxious for the first time leaving him, but I'm sure it will get easier. My mom had to mention yesterday that she'd watch him when we were in the hospital. I didn't want to think about that - I already feel terrible for the little guy losing his solo time - ugh!! I was not happy. I am very hard on my mom but she has 400 things going on at once, and I feel like Nick would be unsupervised and fed whatever they were eating. I'm sure it wouldn't be terrible but the first time with my parents is going to cause me a ton of anxiety. We left Nick with them this weekend for about an hour and a half and had one direction - bottle at noon, warm it up 20 seconds. We came home at 1:15 and he hadn't had his bottle yet. My mom also says things like, what is this horrible stuff you are eating Nick? (greens, grains, beans - things I probably never ate as a baby). That makes me so mad!!
But back to the topic, you don't know what you are getting into, you are just settling into life with 1, and then, BAM! back to square 1? I'm not ready for this! (Reading this you could be thinking, well, you dumb***, you should have been more careful... ) I am just starting to feel like I have some personal time, he's on a great schedule, I can tutor, we can go places and he's good! And soon he'll walk and it could be even easier taking him places and he can hold my hand!
Thanks for the ideas on budgetting and your experience with the supermarket. I never even thought I should cut out Whole Foods but maybe I will! I do think their grains are cheaper than packaged? What do you think? I don't buy too much of their crazy priced things. Necessities: Duplex cookies (2.50), grains, coconut oil ($ most places), and now I want to look for nutritional yeast. Have you had it?