Still in my whirlwind of thoughts

April 1 is quickly approaching - "D" day for me. Will I return to work in August or take the school year off? I have thought about all of the different aspects of either way and here is what I've come up with:

The happy medium would be working 2 days a week at my job. Not possible.
I feel like it would be a selfish decision to return to work if we could swing it.


Returning to Work:
I love my job and it is fulfilling and gives me confidence. However, knowing that I am missing out on the little things that Nick is doing at home, how much will I love my job ?

Being home the last 7 weeks there have been several days where I really miss working. I miss the students that I teach, and the interaction with some colleagues.

I always would take work home and graded tests so that they were returned the next class.
I think that I would have to leave all work at school so that I could come home and spend family time. I think in the end I would feel like both a bad mother and a bad teacher.

I think no matter what, I will miss my job if I don't return to it. But I keep telling myself I can return and still work the rest of my life. It is like a year off where I still have a job to go back to. I can travel when the rest of the world doesn't have off .

This is my 4th year at the same high school coming up. The freshmen will be seniors and I know a lot of the kids. I was at my first school 3 yrs and second for 1, so this is the longest I've been at a school ( I plan to work here for life) nd have a relationship w/ alot of the kids who are seniors.

Staying Home:

I'll be there for all of the moments I don't want to miss.
More time to run- priorities, yes
More time for hobbies

What will I do with my time?
How bored will I be- (I'm a busy body)
What can I do to stay fresh on the math?
What can I do to supplement the income?
Big paycut

And last, one year will probably become 2 yrs if we have another baby next year. By that time, how hard will it be to return to work??


  1. Tough decision indeed N.D. My 2 cents? The first year flies by so fast - I miss my little guys! Their little feet, their toothless grins, spending time at the little park where they thought everything was new, cool and exciting, them sleeping on my chest, and on and on and on. Priceless memories, but alas nothing by memories for me right now. Work is work and goes on forever, babies grow up.

    Good luck with your decision! And worrying about staying busy? From our experience, if anything we wished the days were 30 hours long.

  2. I do agree with Vava, you can work forever, but your babies only stay babies a few years...

    When i was little, my mom stayed home with us until we went to school, then she worked part time until we were well into elementary. Granted we didn't have as nice of things as we do now, but she says she wouldnt have traded it for the world :)

    Thats a tough decision. But whatever you chose will be the right one. There are pros and cons to each side and either decision will make you feel bad about leaving the other. Good luck!!

  3. I always think staying at home would be great but then I realize I'd really miss the interaction I have at work with other people. My sister is a teacher turned stay at home mom and she keeps herself so busy. She is always volunteering here, running there, etc. In the beginning she did some tutoring so that's a possibility to still do you what you love and get some money on the side.

    Just know that whatever you decide, you will be a good parent regardless. A lot of people have NO choice but to work. That doesn't mean they are bad parents. You need to do what is right for YOU. Taking care of yourself and doing what makes you happy will in turn make Nick happy.

  4. Tough decision, but I am sure you will figure out what is best for you and your family. As Nick grows and starts crawling and walking your days will be far from boring!!

  5. I meant to comment on your last post too because that very same day I had a blah run. Good run this morning though! Hope the same for you.

    I think it is a tough decision. Denise posted that not everyone even has this choice and it's good you aren't taking yours lightly.

    But about staying fresh: you'll find ways. I teach English and will join a book club, might look into a few online courses for fun. There's a great Creative Writing conference held annually at our next school and you can bet I'll volunteer to help. I'll also get to know the English department there so that if I'm able to shift into a part-time position, I won't be a stranger.

    It's nice that you've found the school that you want to stay at for your career. I'm sure they know you're a great teacher and will keep the door open for you next year or the year after. Pop in every once in awhile to visit during your time off (if you choose that extra year).

  6. what if you tried finishing out this year just to see how it feels. If you hate it, then it was only a couple months of your life and you can make the decision not to work next year

  7. I have no doubt you and your husband will make the right decision for your family. Good luck!

  8. such a big decision... but i know whatever one you make will be the right one. good luck!!!

  9. I have a lot of the same concerns still, and wish I could answer them all. Can't say I'm ever bored necessarily, but I do get burnt out from not getting a "weekend" per se. I may have a great "job," but it's mentally tiring to do the same thing 7 days a week and I need to be better about scheduling time off for myself.

    I think you're spot on about not wanting to be a bad mom and a bad worker, because that's right where I ended up -- miserable at everything. Ultimately, I don't think my actual job affected my parenting nearly as much as the stress of drawing out this whole decision over 18 months. So, try not to let the stress get to you too much.

  10. talk to your dept chair or principal about part time, only teaching 1-2 classes. every day, but just a few hours. that would be my ideal (if we could afford it) and other teachers do this at my school. you might not get benefits, but worth looking in to.

  11. I was thinking along the same lines as Clare. Can you do part time?! Get teh best of both worlds?

    I'm also with vava. They get big SOOOOOOOO fast. Seriously it feels like I had my first just yesterday and this was 5 years ago already :P

  12. What a tough decision. I don't have kids yet but will soon and I seem to change my mind every other day as far as still working vs. staying home....that is if I had the choice. I'm sure you'll do fine no matter what decision you make.

    I've been reading your blog for awhile now and I have to tell you how much I admire you for running through your pregnancy and getting right back at it after the baby!!! I hope I'll be able to do that some day.

  13. Both my parents were teachers and they brought work home but it wasn't all the time and if we had something to do as a family then they put the work aside and spent time with me. I went to the neighbors and spent the day there and I am still really good friends with that family!

  14. I wish I had some answers as I will be in the same boat. My biggest fear is that when its time to go back to work, will there be a job??

  15. What about subbing? My plan is to teach part-time at the college I work at. Right now I am creating a couple online classes that I hope in the future will lay the ground work for me to be a stay at home mom.