Deep thoughts : parents and children

This may be a controversial post, but I'm sure many of you have heard the news of the Congresswoman in Arizona who was shot.  When I hear things like this and shootings in school, I wonder what was going through the mind of the shooter. Many times the shooter is a young person. What are your thoughts on this - do you blame the parents? fully? somewhat? at all?  Is it environment & demeanor?

All around me when I am out, I see children with parents who I question if they are fit to be parents. I try not to judge but sometimes I just wonder.  I do not believe in abortion, but I will not judge someone for having one. Maybe they are being unselfish.  I feel that there should be some kind of screening for parents to be able to have the opportunity to raise a child.  I am not blaming the parents of this young man who was the shooter in this case, or the parents of those who have become criminals, but it makes me wonder. If a child is raised with love and care, could they still become a criminal? What makes them this way?


  1. I love this post. I think it's a good thing to talk about this.

    I agree that there should be some sort of required training for parents. One of the reasons that I don't want to have kids is because I realize what a huge responsibility it is to raise another human being who will have an effect on others' lives.

    I think that this behavior can be taught to people. But I also believe that there are just some bad eggs out there who, despite having a decent upbringing, just turn out to be this kind of person.

    Siblings can be raised in the same home, with the same parents, with the same behavioral modeling, and yet each turn out to be very different. It's hard to say.

    There are warning signs in children that should not be ignored - bullying, mistreatment of animals, etc.

    Angela/Pretty in Orange

  2. Some people are sick. Some parents could do everything for their child and still have them turn out to be monsters.

  3. I would say children become a product of their environment. If they are loved and supported at home, school, friends, they will generally do ok. I say generally because there are always exceptions. It needs to start at home though!

  4. I don't think it can be so simple...I think mental illness comes into play sometimes and you can't love that out of someone. It's all so sad.

  5. It's certainly complex: I think it's a combination of nature AND nurture.

    I can say, however, that I have a younger brother and sister who were adopted from Russia when they were 5 and 3 respectively, and their first few years (so key to a child's development in all ways) were damaging, and now that both are adults (22 and 19), they have many emotional and mental problems that are most likely a result from the trauma of those early years. My brother has bipolar disorder and my sister has several cognitive disabilities. And both have a lot of social ineptness. At heart, they're both good people who have kind intentions, but I think they would have been very different people with the right start in life.

    With that said, it makes me think how lucky my own child (soon to be plural "children") is. And how lucky me and my other non-adopted siblings were to be given such a healthy, happy start in life.

  6. This is a tough one. I think there are many factors that play in to why some people turn dark. Some of these people have a had wonderful parents and have siblings who are "normal." I believe having a strong sense of family is very important, but that doesn't always cut it. Some kids when they are young are wild and don't listen but then grow up and are great people. Then you have others who are sweet as can be growing up but get lost and don't always find their way back. Toss in undiagnosed mental illness or people who don't take their medications or who don't have the money to stay up on the care they need. As a parent all I can say is that everyday I try my best to make sure Morgan will grow up to be happy and healthy.

  7. very interesting.

    i agree with you......

  8. I agree with what you are saying. My husband's job is dealing with parents that really have gone off track. He always tells me there should be a screening process! It is so hard to know what the parents of these shooters are coming from. I couldn't even imagine if I was there though that day and my child was the 9 year-old shot. My husband and I were talking about it...can't even imagine!!

  9. i absolutely think that a child raised with loving parents can turn out to be a monster. there are things in our heads that are chemically imbalanced. love can't change your brain chemistry.