half empty

I've always looked back to the time (sophomore year in college) when I learned about nutrition and started to count calories to lose weight - as the time that my personality changed, and I changed as a person. It all went down when I joined the crew team and after a summer of heavy drinking, was up to 148 pounds. I couldn't fathom being a "heavyweight" at 5"4, so I was determined to lose 20 pounds and be lightweight (under 130). In 6 months of counting calories and excessive exercise I lost the weight and was down to an easily maintained 123, so that I never had to starve myself before a weigh-in. The result - the new me stopped drinking (waste of calories), stopped going out (temptation to drink) and pretty much, stopped having fun in life.

I was able to round myself out a little bit in the years following sophomore year, drink occasionally, go out sometimes, but the whole food-exercise thing really changed me.

After reading the past few posts that I wrote here, I started thinking, my god, I am so negative. Granted, it is not the best place to be when you are with your parents and in laws in one house for a week, but it is not the worst. There are many positive things you can think about, but I am focusing on all of the negative. I want to change my view and be half FULL. I still obsess over what I eat, make sure that I exercise at least 6 days a week, and I feel guilty on the days that I am not active. I think this does alot my worldview and view of life. I'm too uptight and can make problems out of nothing.

Any of you counting calories and/or trying to lose weight, have you experienced this?
Any of you super positive people, what are your tricks?

Anyone can change. I want the glass FULL!!


  1. I think almost every woman knows how you feel. We put all this pressure on ourselves and set such lofty goals and then get bummed when we have a minor slip-up. Sorry I don't have any better advice. I guess I would just say enjoy the highs and much as you can, and then the lows won't feel so bad.

  2. i did the same thing in college... i gained a bunch of weight my first 2 years and then my junior year i started exercising a lot and dieting a little and by my senior year i was counting every calorie and working out 6 days a week. when i entered the working world that wasn't possible anymore, but i have been able to maintain my weight by just eating right and keeping up good habits. i dont count calories anymore, it was kind of making me crazy :) i just try to eat good foods and often. now with the marathon training i am back to working out a lot which i LOVE and generally it makes me a MUCH happier person.

    i always try to just look at the positive side of things, although there are certain things (work) that i have my downfalls and only see bad. i am working on that too.

    enjoy the rest of your vacation!! you could be stuck in an office doing taxes like i am now :)

  3. i thought it was just me but i guess others are having issues with their nike+, too. I used mine again last night and it worked really well. Oh I hope I win that spot for the Nike Marathon tomorrow. Probably a very small chance but, you never know. Next year, I'll be all over it as soon as the registration opens!

    i totally obsess about my weight, too. i used to be overweight in college and even after for a few years. after i lost the weight (thanks mostly to running) i stressed about about what i put in my mouth and exercised a lot. i still do, actually. i don't ever want to gain the weight back... i must have been traumatized from being fat! but i agree with frayed laces, almost all women go through something like this. and it's so easy to get discouraged, too. it's not always easy to switch your perspective but maybe you can start by thinking of all the great things in your life you can be thankful for. and maybe start focusing on great things about you! i'm sure there's plenty. not sure if this was helpful but you're not alone!!

  4. ummm, you sound like me. i had my little food/exercise transformation about 2 1/2 years ago. i'm slowly learning to stop being so anal about working out regularly and watching everything i eat (i was NO fun on vacation last year with my husband because i was terrified of being out of my routine), partly because it turns out a week off really is not bad! and the more i focus on weight training, the less i have to worry about counting every calorie. we'll see how i do with this once the baby is born in december though...

    oh, and if i had to go on vacation with my parents AND my inlaws, i would shoot someone.

  5. I think it's all about finding balance in life. Embrace your high standards and desire to strive for success, as they have helped you achieve great things.

    I agree with FL and Aron that you should focus your energy on recognizing all the good things around you and enjoy them.

    Think of this... in college you actually LOST the weight and "easily maintained" a healthy weight afterwards. How awesome is that? Bravo to you. That is the HALF FULL glass.

    Its all about finding the balance (just like with diet and exercise) that makes your life better. Perhaps, if you had focused on the "good" stuff you accomplished in college (weight loss and improved fitness) you might have been able to find that same happy balance in your college social and personal life.

    Your glass IS HALF FULL, its just that the glass is full of crystal clear water and you are looking right through it.

  6. I totally agree with Beachrunner...balnce is crucial in keep the glass just right. I toatlly hear you though and understand on how sometimes it can make us feel negative.

  7. I'm not currently counting cals or trying to lose weight but I've totally been there before. I gained a HUGE amount of weight with both the kids (75 for both :-X). I counted every bit and piece and exercised my butt off. It came off (BF-ing helped a lot too) and I just went back to normal (before kids) bad eating habits BUT I still stuck OCD exercise routine. I guess in my head I justify not counting cals because I exercise so much?!? I don't know what to tell ya chica, but I do agree with Frayed. It's something I think we all go :-)through :-)